A song and the silence that followed

I'm Still Here

I found the pieces in my hand
They were always there
It just took some time for me to understand
You gave me words I just can't say
So if nothing else
I'll just hold on while you drift away
'Cause everything you wanted me to hide
Is everything that makes me feel alive

The cities grow
the rivers flow
Where you are,
I'll never know
But I'm still here
If you were right
and I was wrong
Why are you the one who's gone
I'm still here
Still here

Seeing the ashes in my heart
The smile the widest
When I cry inside
and my insides blow apart
I tried to wear another face
Just to make you proud
Just to make you put me in my place
But everything you wanted from me
Is everything that I could never be

The cities grow
the rivers flow
Where you are,
I'll never know
But I'm still here
If you were right and I was wrong
Why are you the one who's gone
I'm still here

Maybe tonight
It's gonna be alright
I will get better
Maybe today
It's gonna be okay

I will remember

I held the pieces of my soul
I was shattered
and I wanted you to come
and make me whole
When I saw you yesterday
But you didn't noticed
And you just walked away
Cause everything you wanted me to hide
Is everything that makes me feel alive

The cities grow
The rivers flow
Where you are,
I'll never know
But I'm still here
If you were right and I was wrong
Why are you the one who's gone
And I'm still here

The lights go out,
the bridges burn
Once you're gone,
you can't return
I'm still here

Remember how you used to say
I'd be the one to runaway
But I'm still here

The truth.

I have reached that point in my life

when all I want to do is disappear.

Money Making Business

I am sick and tired of you.

Of your lies,

the schemes,

the drama.

Why is it always about
Money!

Money!

Money!

Is that the reason why parents give birth to their children?
So that one day,
their children can buy them a house
send money regularly
and pay for every whim that they may have?

No.
I will not marry God-knows-who just for me to be able to have the darn papers.
No.
I won't lie nor cover up for you and your DA MAN of a boyfriend while my beloved dad is sick.
No.
I am no longer a puppet to your every wish and demand.
No.
We will never do such a thing if we were to have kids of our own.
We will work as much we can and save up,
so that me and my wife may be able to provide for ourselves during our retirement years.
We will never burden our children for what our responsibilities were in the first place.

Our children will never be a money making business in our lives.

Thank you for yesterday...

My younger sister is now officially a nurse!

All the hard work, the fretting, the stressing
and the nightmares was worth it all!

You are now officially:



A nurse.

Sigh...

I don't want to go!



I don't.



I don't.

Of twilight and new moon

I'm such a sucker for surprises.

I get all giddy and I can't seem to stop fidgeting and acting like a 3 year old all over again -very close to bouncing all over the place but still has the decency to stop myself from doing so. Hands almost too itchy to open a brightly colored box, or that gut feel in the pit of my stomach that something is brewing but I just can't put my finger on it.

But what I didn't count on was a surprise I got yesterday afternoon.

It wasn't the most grandiose of things, but it did move me. So much so that I cried a little. Maybe some would think of this as something too shallow to shed some tears on or that I am much too easy. Well, for some parts of my life, yes I am easy to please and much to my chagrin, I know that there are parts of me that seems insatiable much to the dismay of others.

But don't let me digress.

Just the other day, I was devouring the book (which I heard is the latest craze next to the Harry Potter mania) I was careful not to finish the said book in a day because I know that I won't be able to go out anytime soon to purchase the second book if I finish it too fast. Unfortunately, reading is much too delicious for me, I barely have the will power to stop reading until the last page (Given that the book is of course able to pique my interest) So much to say, I did finish the book yesterday. I was at home thinking when I will be able to read the next one, when a Demi-God came with book two at hand.

Yes, yesterday I received a book.

But to me it wasn't just any book. It was the gesture. It was unexpected, it was purchased with me specifically in mind, and it was thoughtful.
I was downright touched.

As I was getting ready to sleep last night (of course after reading quite a few chapters of my new book), I realize that it still holds true for me, it's not the dates in fancy hotels, nor the flashy cars. In reality, I'd rather curl up in bed with a good book on my lap, be able to glance up every now and then to check what my partner is doing and look forward to an afternoon nap after the pillow talks and warm warm kisses.