Saturday, February 25, 2006

Acceptance

I'm here in my room with my loving partner sleeping beautifully, and I can't help but wonder why acceptance seems to be the hardest thing to do for both of you. I have been more than just a good daughter. I have followed most, if not all the things you've always told me to do. I have fulfilled your dreams that your other daughters/sons could not give you. I have been the role model, the favorite girl, the little princess, and the perfect daughter one could have. I have always done my best to keep you happy, for God knows how much I love you and that I'd go to great lengths to see that everything's okay. But it seems to be getting harder and harder now that I am trying to live my life the way I choose to live it.


I know you always will see me as your little daughter no matter how much gray hair I might have on my head but does that mean you will never let go of me?

I know you love me but can't you try to just let go of my neck, and hug me for once?

Take time to see through my eyes and not turn your backs on something that you have judged and categorized blindly.


Must I really wait for the time that you are no longer here on earth for me to be finally free?

You have raised one great daughter, so why can't you let me go? What are these wings for if you forbid me from flying to where I want to be?


What are you trying so much to save me from? Am I really in danger? Is it a matter of life and death? Would it really kill me to love someone just because this wonderful person that I am happily with happens to be a woman herself?


Would you rather have me married off to a man whose face I won't even remember before I fall asleep at night? Would you rather have me become a submissive wife to a man whose infidelity can never be denied? To have me lying awake at night cogitating and counting how many illegitimate children my so-called husband has? Would you rather have me living a life full of lies and tears? To have me hiding behind the norms pretending to be happy and content but bleeding and dying inside?


Haven't you learned enough from each other that following and living the "normal" life is not a sure way towards happiness?


Haven't you had your own share of sins just to pursue your own individual happiness?

Why label what I treasure as "abnormal" when you yourselves had done things that can also be called "abnormal" or even depraved?


How can you bear to keep me unhappy if for once in my life I want to think of my own happiness instead?


Do you know what truly pains me? That the most important people whom I practically owe my life to are the exact same people hindering me from being happy. I am so torn. How can you bear to hurt me this much? Haven't I loved you enough? Don't I deserve to be happy with the kind of life I choose to have?


Can't you give me that chance?


Just a little recognition please?


A little tolerance?


A little understanding?


Let us prove to you that we deserve each other. That a couple can be happy no matter how much you label it to be "abnormal." That I am still the daughter you raised well. That I can still continuously grow to be a better person even if I am with someone whom you do not
approve of just because she is a woman.


A little chance please? A little hope? A little faith?


I want to be happy.


I want to be happy.


Please let me go.

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