Wednesday, August 23, 2006

Whom should I hate?

I'm beginning to hate you. It scares me. It scares me because I know I shouldn't. I feel it starting deep within me like a knot in my stomach that no amount of sleep nor laughter can relieve. I am bitter and outraged.

For you who wants me to put someone else on top of my priority list. Is it because you sent me to school? Isn't that my right? Or is it because I never lacked in any luxury that I wanted and needed and that you are still giving me up to now? Is it because there's no one left but me to carry all these burden? Why must it be me? Why do you want so much to strap me in your life? Why can't I just be me? If you have issues about my being a lesbian then for crying out loud say it! But that doesn't mean I'll change nor let go of my girlfriend because I won't. Stop doing this to me for I deserve better. Why are you doing this to me? I am choking from your cold grasp! Will you just let go of my neck for once?!

Or you, who is old enough to know what's right or wrong. That you're old enough to have freaky relationships and yet cannot cook a darn fried egg? That you're old enough to french kiss a guy and yet you ask me the littlest thing as simple as "How should I put the leash on my dog?" Fuck it! Why not test how it goes and if the friggin' dog doesn't choke to death then maybe you did get it right. Yes I find your dependency on me pathetic and tiring. Must I do everything for you? Must I eat for you? Must I wipe your mouth when you eat? Should I put a bib around your neck and hope you strangle yourself to death so that I may be rid of you and your outrageous helplessness. With every silly question you ask me the more that I think of you as stupid. Yes, I think you're stupid. No amount of book reading is enough to increase your EQ because it cannot be learned there. You think I'm such a prick for always snapping at you but you deserve it! You deserve it because you're stupid. You do not want to learn things by yourself you actually need a step by step precedure in order to function. You can't even call a blasted delivery service no matter how starved you are! That is stupid. You're like a leech in my life! If you can very well have pathetic relationships, you might as well start growing up and stop being a menace in my life!

Why should I put my life revolve around them? Why should my growth be put on hold? Why must there be an emotional blackmail? Why must I put other people's happiness over mine? Why must I cater to them? When will I ever be free?

Or is it because of me? That no one can hold a candle beside me? Is it because my priorities are much too high? Is it because I let them do this to me? Or is it because this is my fate?

What's Your Reputation?

Your Reputation Is: Maneater

You're the kind of girl all the chicks hate...
And guys are both scared of you yet strangely drawn in.
What's Your Reputation?

I don't think I like this. I'm a bit reminded of my patner's ex-girlfriend whom she labeled to be a Man-Eater. Anyway, as for the "chicks" hating me, I do admit that I do get those nasty looks girls seem to throw at me for whatever reason it is that they have. But I won't stoop so low, most people hate what they don't have in the first place.

Monday, August 21, 2006

"My Bestfriend, My Worst Enemy"

This was posted by my girlfriend last Thursday, August 17, 2006. I am reposting it here simply because I want to immortalize her work here as well. I love you sweety!

My Best Friend, My Worst Enemy

I am convinced that the worst enemy anyone could ever have is their best friend. The last time I checked, there is only one person that I can consider as my best friend. The trouble is, she was never a friend to begin with. She was a secret lover, a stranger, a cheer leader (she danced while I rock).

A perfect illustration of poles are we. She expresses her feelings while mine, reserved. She wears pink, I wear blue. Or she’d wear black if I wore white. She rules the halls of the elite kind, while I live out the reputation of those that lurk in the dark, narrow streets. She’s a Catholic, I’m a Protestant. She skips Sunday mass, I’m a church pianist.

I tried to command her existence in my life, tried to make her cross the tight-rope of my will but as perfect as she is, she did not fit the categories I have set. She always had trouble finding her way towards my elusive spirit until she stopped predicting my actions, my emotions, my decisions. She failed to tie me to her shoes. We both gave up. She stayed an inch farther from my arms’ reach while I strapped myself at the back of her head.

Then I saw how incredibly wonderful she is in her world as she marveled at how I governed mine. I admire her greatly. We both have learned our place in each others life and it is not within each ones world. Dissolving the enclosure of our comfortable domain, we lovingly complimented each other as opposites.

At a time we discussed about what will happen if we parted. That was a bit difficult to imagine because we can’t tell who will leave and who’ll be left behind. Nonetheless, it’s a scary thought for both of us because we both keep our promises and (thanks to the misery delivered by her ex and mine) we have sworn to make a living hell out of anyone who would dare hurt us in any way.

We may not be the best of friends, or atleast we did not begin our life together in this manner, but we have learned too much about each other to risk becoming each one’s ex. We both know enough to threaten our lives with a daily supply of irritation and torment.

As my complimenting opposite I respect her capacity to anger as I fear mine. She is my best friend and my perfect adversary. I love her and her unfamiliar world will always bewilder me as our lives entangle in a daily pleasant surprise.

Sunday, August 20, 2006

I miss you love...

I miss You

You with your happy smile.
You with your warm embrace.
You with your weakening kiss.
You with the perfect care I can never find anywhere else.
You with whom I can share anything with.
You who loves me unconditionally.
You with your winning charm.
You with your adorable antics.
You who loves me faithfully.
I just miss you so much, much too much.
I want to go home.

Monday, August 07, 2006

Are you a Challenge or a Whore?

You are: A Difficult Challenge

You must be an incredible hottie...
Because it's the only way you can pull off the ice queen act.
You're the type of woman that men love to chase
But if you don't stop running, you'll never get caught!
Are You a Challenge?

I couldn't agree more!

Let's talk about underwear

You Are Thong Panties

Woman, you are one hell of a ride!
You're a total wild child - and you live for crazy times.
Men are attracted to you like flies to honey, even though they know they should stay away.
You need an expert who can keep in tune with your free spirit and your wild hot nature!

I admit, I'm a lingerie addict.
The results of these two quizzes I'd take as compliments.
Though I have to admit that I am not particularly thrilled with the
"Men are attracted to you like flies to honey"
Oh well...

What Your Underwear Says About You

When you're bad, you're very bad. And when you're good, you're still trouble!

You're an exhibitionist who gets a thrill from being naughty.
The Underwear Oracle

Oh this is soooo nice. I couldn't agree more!

How Vain Are You?

You Are 79% Vain

You're a little vain, but you also work hard for your good looks.
Just remember, everyone knows you are a total hottie. You don't have to remind them.
How Vain Are You?

I saw this Blogthing quiz again in my girglfriend's blog site. People have always told me that I'm vain as if it's a bad thing! What's wrong with loving yourself? I am tagging everyone who reads this and do tell me what score you got.

Sunday, August 06, 2006


I would like to welcome my new tenant - Clusterfook!
Check out her blog! It's worth your time!