Saturday, May 27, 2006

Circus Girl

Being with you is like walking on a tight rope.
Every step is uncertain, foreboding and dangerous.
No matter how hard I try to hold on to the only lifeline of a pole I have,
it's still not enough to keep me steady nor to keep me from falling.
One wrong step and it gets worse.
Left foot?
Right foot?
One wrong decision and I'd go down in an instant.
The only safety I have is the net.
You are the net.
You with all the great things you do for me.
The exact same net which is going to push me back up
only to have me climb up once more the steep ladder
It's hard not knowing where I stand
let alone standing on a straight, taut rope where one can neither go left or right.
Which one should I put forward?
My left foot or right foot?
Why do I have to cross this?
Why can't I just be the ringmaster's daughter sitting safely below?
Why can't I just sit back like her and hope that the crazy girl 60 feet above won't fall
Will I ever cross this rope from end to end?
Will I ever perfect this tight rope crossing that is so much a part of my life with you?
Will the net forever have enough strength to catch and push me back up every time I fall?
Will I ever be the Ringmaster's daughter again?
Will this ever end?

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