Dug out of your drawer

GSF

June 2008

A Minute of Refuge

A single song.

That was all it took to have me plummeting down through memory lane.

Just the right amount of sentiments to have me weeping like a lost girl all over again.

The song hasn't even reached the heartbreaking part and yet the memories played with so much clarity, that closing my eyes tightly or forcibly shaking my head was futile in trying to escape the onslaught of what was to come.

Have you ever experienced remembering a memory so distinct that everything comes alive again as if you were able to transcend time and space? Being able to smell the fresh cut grass, feel the wind caressing your skin, the touch of a warm embrace, the soothing voice flowing languidly as you lavish on that particular day and time... A snippet of a life once lived.

How can it be so real? So tangible, so acutely present yet so realistically a past.

So you ride it out, not really wanting it to continue but not really having the strength to stop it.

Whether it be the guilt, the longing, the wanting, or the sheer helplessness of the moment, I am not certain why I chose to see and be in it once again.

Then I come back. Back to the now that I call my life.

Everything is the same. Untouched, unmoved, the hands of time barely moved.

Yet the turmoil inside was ravaging in the reality that I am changed.

Yes, I miss you.

I painstakingly miss you.

I now know the reason why I chose to stay in that memory.

You.

So I can be with you again even for awhile.

The only time I can ever have for now.

Frequent is an understatement

In the past weeks, I have noticed

that I have one very frequent visitor in my blog.

When I say frequent, I mean visits-every-hour-of-every-frackin'-day.

In fact, if I were to give points to this person for every peek in my blog, he can actually redeem points to his heart's content. Pretty much like a frequent flyer card that airlines offer.

Anyway, I hope that my visitor is truly enjoying my blog and not plagiarizing my work...

I do not want to start a manhunt on anyone's saggy ass now do I?

Inescapable

I hate that one particular moment

when the painful realization would hit me

that you are never coming through the door ever again.

♫♪ All You Are ♪♫

I wanna see the world through your eyes for a day,

maybe catch a glimpse of what it's like.

To be so beautiful underneath all the pain,

maybe see the soul that lies inside.

You are, the face that you never show.

Ooh ahh, it hides all I wanna know, let me see.

All you are, it makes my heart break.

All you are, and I'm waiting here.

All you are, waiting all my life for.

The moment you might step outside

show me what's been hiding under there.

When you unlock the gate, twilight's fall daylights break.

Nothing stop the way I felt for you now.

Cause Ive seen through the nights,

through the tainted coloured glass.

Saw inside the love behind the shadow.

You are, the face that you never show.

ooh ahh, it hides all I wanna know, let me see.

All you are, it makes my heart break.

All you are, and I'm waiting here.

All you are, waiting all my life for.

The moment you might step outside

show me what's been hiding underneath

The past I know it's gone so fast,

sometimes the bad things stay.

While all the good tends to fade

out of your heart and mind

but somethings left behind

and baby no one can take it away yeah.

Translucency

It starts the moment the bright sun comes shining through the door.

I sit and watch you as I keep my fingers crossed. Hoping against hope that the thoughts I keep are the same ones you seek.

You shift a little. Anticipation. Words said. A smile. A witty remark. Laughter. Humming. Straining. Calling. Holding. A murmur. Silence.

I see you in front of me, but not really. There then gone in a heartbeat. Like the sun and the shadows playing hide and seek. A girl hopping from one to the other, pavement after pavement, chasing shadows, looking back and waiting for one to follow. So it continues until the sun turns red.

Say the goodbyes and the goodnights.

Perhaps tomorrow,

maybe tomorrow will be a different day

perchance in the morning,

I no longer need to wait.

You Can Let Go Now Daddy...