8:53PM 1/1/2013

"A wayward hand

fingers splayed

tentative

ghosting

along the curve of your hip.

Breath rising and falling

with the dips and crests

I've worshipped with lips and prayer.

Synapses traversing the distance

between fingertip and skin,

igniting

stoking

flames of desire laying in slumber.

Invisible patterns

etched into bone and sinew

inundating me

with indelible memories

when my fingers grasp at your hip

and was met

by nothing but air."

- Xam

I'm lost.

My heart is hurting.  Silent echoes inside.  Like claws tearing from within.  

Inch by painful inch.  Dragging.  Tearing.  Jagged.  Blood seeping.  Heartbeat racing. 

Breath uneven.  Digging deep.  Emotions in turmoil.  Whispers in the dark.  
Voices in my head.  The dark closing in.  A silent scream.  
For peace.  A little happiness.  My ray of sunshine.  
Waiting.  Wanting.  To be found.  To be home.

Christmas Blues Coming In Early

There is just one person missing from my Christmas List, my dad.

I have thought of a lot of things that I would love to give him - if only he was still around.
This is going to be the 3rd Christmas that we are going to have without him.
Yes it is less painful, but sad nonetheless.
I miss the planning of what the menu would be for both Christmas and New Year.
Family dinner.
Staying up late waiting for Christmas Eve.
Christmas feast shared by the family.
The gift-giving.
Opening of presents.
Seeing the smiles, hearing the laughter.

I miss my dad.

Though it breaks my heart that he is no longer around,
I will not cry.  He hates it when I cry.
So instead I will look forward to creating new traditions
and continue to do those that we have come to love as a family.
I hope that when he sees us celebrating, it would make him happy as well.

We love you Daddy, and we miss you just as much.

You Are My Poetry

You are the muse that compels me to write
who continuously sparks the life within me
with you I can see the beauty of life
that my love and passion is yours to ignite

There is poetry written all over your body... 
it is on the underside of your femur
running up and down your vertebral column
grazing along your clavicle
resting over your scapula

There is poetry in the way your hair cascades
the seduction of your luscious lips
the enticing slope of your breasts
the graceful curve of your hips

There is poetry in the way you move
the sound of your soothing voice
the steady beat of your heart
the way you lay asleep in my arms

You see my love,
there is poetry in everything that you are...
You are my poetry.

For My Dear Haven

Having you in my life makes me see that the world is indeed beautiful.
I have learned to appreciate not only the grand things in life 
but find happiness even in the mundane ones.
The pleasure of being able to hold your hand in public without fears nor worries
The feeling of contentment being wrapped in your arms as we talk
The joy I find when we rub each others back after a long day
Revel in the simple moments of sharing a couch during our lazy days
That my heart is at peace the most when I feel you sleeping beside me
I love holding your hand across the table during date nights
I will never get tired of letting you know 
just how beautiful and amazing you are
how much I cherish and adore you
I am very proud to be your partner 
and that you make me strive to be a better person everyday.

Love, I can no longer see a future that does not include you.

Yes Xam,
I am...
so in love with you.

My dear beloved...

You've only been gone less than a day,

but I'm already wasting away... 

I need to come back home - for good.

My "Yo-ja-chin-gu" in Korea ^_^

[4:33:59 AM] - - - Xam - - -:

Hey baby! Touchdown south Korea.  I miss you already... And the house, and the pillows, and umm blanket, and my tree, and everything...

Di bale, Uwi k na naman soon db? :)

I'm watching you sleep now; mixture of emotions, kasi I'm happy you were able to sleep good and sad that I'm not there to cuddle you... Though I'm noticing that you are sleeping on my side of the bed, which is heartwarming

I love you so much babe. Thanks for a wonderful stay; soooooooooo much more enjoyable and memorable compared to the previous years. Definitely several notches leveling up! :)



[4:42:53 AM] - - - Xam - - -:

No network coverage yung sa globe but I'll keep the globe sim on my fon until 9 (8am syo) to try and see if I can receive your texts. Strong naman free wifi dito so call me sa viber anytime once you wake up. 10am here (9am syo) ang boarding time then Skype tyo para may video (I feel like a voyeur now, watching you sa Skype. Ang linaw!!!!!!! Hehehhehe :))



[4:46:42 AM] - - - Xam - - -:

I'm hungry :( naikot ko na yung 3/4 ng airport (malaki pala itong airport na Ito)   Pero wala pang bukas na mga kainan. I bought a small Evian for $2 and wala akong magustuhan na ok na food dito sa mga parang little stalls nila na 24hrs so Imma try to look for something to eat again ng mga 7-8am; hopefully may mga bukas na. Imma eat my sky flakes and water for the meantime. While collecting coins for you sa snoopy :)