For all the things I cannot say

I'm sorry that I do not know how the rules of this trade go

I am trudging an unknown road that I fear.

I'm sorry that I choose to be the way that I am at this moment

for I do not know how else to become a functioning human.

I'm sorry if my actions are deemed wrong in your eyes

but the things I do are dictated by my heart.

I'm sorry that I do not know how to appease you

but believe me when I say I am truly doing my best.

I'm sorry that I am not the partner that you're used to

but it doesn't mean I love you less.

I'm sorry if I have taken the world on my shoulders,

pray tell who else can take my place.

I'm sorry that my world revolves around my father for now

but I want to spend much of my time with him while he's still around.

I'm sorry if I tire myself to no end until there's nothing left

for when I am alone, I find myself crumbling down in tears.

I'm sorry I cannot take on all the roles like how I used to do

but for now please spare a little more patience with me.

I'm sorry if I have made you to be the source of my strength

something that must've been too taxing for you.

I'm sorry if this is all difficult for you

but do understand that I am so lost myself.

I'm sorry if I have depended on you to be okay while I am not

as a partner I must've been lacking a lot.

I'm sorry I cannot pick-up the pieces around me

when I myself am crashing down.

I'm sorry for believing that you'd understand at all times

I have divided myself much too much.

I'm sorry if I am making mistakes after mistakes

but I am trying, I am trying so hard for everyone.

For everything that is happening

and all that is bound to happen still

I don't want to live in the what if's

and all the I could have been's

Please just give me this chance

he's got but a few months to live,

while we still have a lifetime to share.