Monday, April 09, 2012

Not again...

I see you slipping away from us
vanishing ever so slowly
I feel so helpless
I can't make time stop
I can't make you fight
when it seems that you have given up

I wish it was just like before
when you were strong and healthy
when you would tell me happy stories
and tuck me in bed to put me to sleep

But all I can do now
is to be here for you
tell you that I love you
try to make you smile again

I know that everything seems bleary
confusing
cluttered
but I hope you find it within you
that your heart may remember
just how much we love you.


Sunday, April 08, 2012

Happy Birthday Daddy


Happy birthday to the greatest hero of my life!
You would have been 65 years old
and we could have enjoyed the "senior" jokes
Until we meet again...
We love and miss you so much.

Wednesday, February 08, 2012

A sad truth




"... saw you downtown singing the blues
it's time to face the music
I'm no longer your muse"

Saturday, January 07, 2012

Haven's Special Day

The warmest birthday greeting to my dear sunshine!

Do you still remember the line
"I'd saint your mother just for giving you birth"
It still holds to be true and yes I have been humming that song the entire day!

Happy Birthday Xam!
May all your wishes come true!
I love you!

Thursday, December 29, 2011

And so it goes...


Let me tell you about my day
and perhaps I shall not be judged that way

My day starts at 4:00am when I hear her rustling about
I prepare her breakfast and hope that she eats on her own
I feed her if she does not want to

I clean up after her and go downstairs to do her laundry
keeping silent as I wash her urine-drenched clothes and sheets
I give her a shower in spite of her anger
I change her diaper and hope that it would be a good day
I wash her when she has feces all over her
I clean when she has left a trail of excrement on the floor
while I muster everything for me not to gag or cry

I serve her meals on time and hope that she eats
as I sneak for awhile to freshen myself
I clean up after her and check the time
Half of the day has already gone by

The rest of the day is spent
on answering endless questions repeatedly
Of assisting her walk to and fro when sleep is lost to her
Of taking in her anger when I become her target of wrath
and when she decides to eat the food I give her in the afternoon
there is a certain happiness in me
for it means that I do not have to pick-up the pieces
when she decides to throw those at me

During night time there is not much difference
as days and nights seemed no different to her
A goodnight's sleep is but a rare gift
Sleep is not even a reprieve

When the sun rises to a new morning
my day would begin again...

No this is not my profession
I do not get paid
I care for my grandmother
Without asking anything for myself
So please forgive me If at times I cry or complain
Give me some leeway for I get weary and tired
I feel battered and bruised from deep inside.