I heard you got married today.
Did you really get what you've always wanted?
I hope that by doing this you'd stop hiking up my ass
about not giving you the papers you've always "needed".
But please oh please oh please...
don't bear another child for crying out loud.
It's bad enough that I find your wedding to be
shamelessly unethical and utterly distasteful.
For decency's sake, don't give me a sibling
who'll be younger than your 1 month old grandchild!