A single song.
That was all it took to have me plummeting down through memory lane.
Just the right amount of sentiments to have me weeping like a lost girl all over again.
The song hasn't even reached the heartbreaking part and yet the memories played with so much clarity, that closing my eyes tightly or forcibly shaking my head was futile in trying to escape the onslaught of what was to come.
Have you ever experienced remembering a memory so distinct that everything comes alive again as if you were able to transcend time and space? Being able to smell the fresh cut grass, feel the wind caressing your skin, the touch of a warm embrace, the soothing voice flowing languidly as you lavish on that particular day and time... A snippet of a life once lived.
How can it be so real? So tangible, so acutely present yet so realistically a past.
So you ride it out, not really wanting it to continue but not really having the strength to stop it.
Whether it be the guilt, the longing, the wanting, or the sheer helplessness of the moment, I am not certain why I chose to see and be in it once again.
Then I come back. Back to the now that I call my life.
Everything is the same. Untouched, unmoved, the hands of time barely moved.
Yet the turmoil inside was ravaging in the reality that I am changed.
Yes, I miss you.
I painstakingly miss you.
I now know the reason why I chose to stay in that memory.
So I can be with you again even for awhile.
The only time I can ever have for now.